Got this from an Internet forward, but it was too good, so decided to add it to my journal.
Tips From Subordinates to Superiors
Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4 pm and then bring it
in to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
If it’s a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how
I am doing. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at
every keystroke.
Always leave without telling anyone where you are going. It gives me a
chance to be creative when someone asks where
you are.
If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don’t open the door
for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors
with no arms is good training.
If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is the priority.
I am psychic.
Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to
go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean
a promotion.
If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in
conversations. I was born to be whipped.
If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact,
save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful
information.
Never introduce me to people you are with. I have no right to know
anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them
later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
Be nice to me only when the job I am doing for you could really change your
life and send you straight to manager’s hell.
Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any, and its nice to know
someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay
so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goal SHOULD have been.
Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost-of-living increase. I’m
not here for the money anyway.